Shadows along the doors

Yesterday I went up to CU Boulder with my mom to check out what a college campus looks like. I would be glad to go there but they don't have fashion design/apparel for a major so I'm not going to go. Sad day, it would make traveling so much easier for the holidays. I'm not in college by the way I'm only a junior and have another year of hell. After the campus tour, my mom and I booked it out of Boulder and went shopping, where I picked up this Elle shirt. It is kind of hard to believe that this shirt is extra small and yet I'm still swimming in it. I can't imagine what a large would look like on me. O.o

Shirt: Elle, Jeans: bullhead, Shoes: Lord & Taylor, self made elk horn necklace, Astronaut bracelet, and self made beaded cross bracelet


Why I hate fashion by Tanya Gold

Tanya Gold no longer gets any pleasure from shopping for clothes. Photograph: Teri Pengilley
A confession– it's been stalking me for years now, this crawling ­disdain for fashion; the certainty that it is not an ally but an enemy. The older I am, the more disenchanted I am with what is meant to make us beautiful. Now, at 36, I believe it is one of the ultimate evils in the universe, along with yoghurt. It should have its own Death Star.
Put simply, I hate fashion. I scowl at Harper's. I snarl at W. I spit at Vogue. Sometimes, I tear them up, these glossy pages full of anorexic ­children – part human, part makeup, part ­computer program – just because I'm worth it. Then I put a colander on my head.
You may say that I am bitter. How is my sex life, you ask? Do men flee my fashion-free person? What is my weight? What has happened to make me reject the things we women are supposed to hug – wedges, fringes, shifts, tassels, linings, bows? And don't forget shoes! Surely I love shoes, the icons that Carrie Bradshaw worshipped instead of a god? No? I must be ill. Weep for me in my giant knickers. I am outcast.
Not at all. I am a reasonable ­example of a normal woman. I like food and men and comfort. It is just that at some point, the unceasing prattle of fashion has become a scream in my head. I ­cannot ignore its idiocies any more. I walk past a shop that sells 6in heels and I am angry. Banana ­Republic? ­Angry again. Selfridges and its ­loathsome "I shop therefore I am" adverts, a manifesto for morons? Don't even go there. I have had it with this tyrant-fool throwing darts from every billboard and magazine and TV screen. I want to hurl a spear back at it.
I decided to write this piece late last year, when I read that a 16-year-old girl wearing high-heeled shoes had fallen between the carriages of a train in West Sussex. She died, of course. It was snowing that night, but still this young woman, with a lifetime of fashion choices before her, ran along that platform and is now dead. And I couldn't help suspecting that had she been wearing a shoe designed for movement, rather than to push her breasts out and her pelvis forward, she would be alive. Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City 'worshipped shoes instead of a god'. Photograph: James Devaney/WireImage.com
This was different from the usual Fashion Death, where a model has a heart attack on the catwalk, because she lives on grapes. This was an ­ordinary girl – a bystander. And why was she wearing high-heeled shoes on an icy night? Because fashion, the whispering monster, told her to.
I thought about that young woman for days; I couldn't forget her. Why? Because I realised that although I did not fall under a train, like Anna Karenina with a shoe instead of ­Vronsky, fashion has bullied me for ever. It has followed me around like an eternal schoolyard taunt, throwing self-doubt and rubbish into my path. If you are a young woman, it is the ordinary soundtrack to your life. It is never enough to wear a clean dress and comfortable shoes and be done – fashion is a Jewish mother on crack. This will make you beautiful! This will make men want you! Wear this! Wear that!
Can't you ignore it, you may ask? Can't you squeeze yourself into a ­library and have an inner life instead? Ha! Anyone who thinks that has never been a young woman staring into the window of Topshop. Sophisticated weapons are employed to make us need the rubbish. And so we do.
I discovered fashion when I was 13. Before that I dressed as Andy Pandy and was very happy. No one sticks Andy Pandy in 6in heels to emphasise the sexual ­organs he doesn't have. I ­remember those Saturday ­morning shopping trips very well. I can't ­remember ­exactly how I knew what I was ­supposed to be wearing. You breathe it in, like air.
And so I dressed, like all schoolgirls in 1987, in approximate homage to the cast of Neighbours. How wonderful I looked, I imagined – jeans, black polo neck, boots and a pair of red Noddy braces that I wore inside my breasts. (No one is infallible.) How I enchanted. How I belonged. I thought I looked just like the effortlessly beautiful girls at school. Except I didn't. And, very soon, I realised that I didn't. All that weekend job money and childish angst and still I looked like me. That was the first seduction – and the first betrayal.
I didn't give in. Who does? So I spent years buying junk – what else was money for? To make me secure? No. How much more feminine to be ­insecure. Run towards the ever-­receding sense of self-acceptance and the promise of love; perhaps this ­collection will fix you! Or this one! And if it doesn't, there will be two more next year, like a bad clock. And always, because designers produce just one tiny dress for all the ­advertising campaigns and magazine editorials, ­because improbable slimness is a ­mirage most women can only weep (and shop) for, came the continual, wicked message – too fat.
But the seduction continued. I worked for a tabloid newspaper for a few years and I earned a lot of money. I used to wander around Harvey ­Nichols, particularly on weekdays when I was at a loss for anything to do – up and down, up and down, an insect with broken antennae. The first thing I noticed was how ­miserable all the shoppers looked, pale and shrivelled, as if they had been unplugged from something and were desperately trying to plug themselves back in – to a shoe perhaps, or a strange piece of jewellery. I don't think I ever saw anyone laugh in Harvey Nichols. White and windowless, it smelled only of anxiety.
I also noticed how easy it was to buy a dress, and a bag and then perhaps some stupid, unnatural shoes and feel a kind of brief, bright burst of self-acceptance, which always evaporated as soon as I was home. It withered like a smouldering feather in an ashtray. The goods lay unwrapped on my ­ordinary bed. They looked odd there. They didn't fit. The marketing doesn't ­follow you home. When the stiff bag with the ribbon is thrown away, you are left with just an ugly piece of leather – and yourself.
Fashion can't, I now know, make even itself happy. I met a 16-year-old model once, in the offices of her agency. I was supposed to ­interview her, but my newspaper thought her comments were too depressing, so didn't publish them. The dream didn't fit her either. The doll was broken.
She was a sweet, utterly ­ordinary girl with an astonishing face. She ­exuded gloom. She showed me a ­photograph of herself. It had ­appeared on the cover of Vogue. "I don't think it looks like me at all," she said. She was right. It didn't. It was a non-existent woman.
She described how they had ­attached long strands of hair to her eyelashes for the photograph. "It was really painful," she said. "They said 'Don't blink'. But I need to blink." In another photograph, she had to wear a sort of white harness on her head. "I couldn't hear," she said. ­Because her minder had disappeared, I asked her – do you like any of these ­pictures? "No," she said. Do you think you are beautiful? (Just a hunch.) Again – "no". And then I knew – it is worse for them than it is for us. I only have to compare ­myself with the ­nearest angry writer. ­Models compete with Aphrodite.
The oddest thing rescued me from fashion. It was that I got fat. Never mind why; that is a story for another page. But I got so fat that even fashion wouldn't pretend it could fix me. You can get so fat they don't actually want you in their clothes. It is bad marketing; if very fat people wear their clothes, thinner ­people won't buy them. There was no point rattling through the rails any more, seeking a satin redemption – nothing would fit my unfashionable bulk. I was ­consigned to M&S smock-land, across the River Styx. And it is lovely here; no heels, no stupid dresses-of-the-moment, certainly no thongs. Fashion has died for me, with an angry little hiss. Ah, peace.
I can look at the clothes on the catwalk now and laugh at their imbecility. They are not for me. I still think about that young woman on the train tracks, though. What did she pay for her shoes?
Well Miss. Tanya Gold I can agree with you on some things about how girls are trying to make themselves too skinny so they can fit into clothes but that is the way of America. Not all women though, some women are very comfortable with their bodies and I salute that to them. As long as we are all happy and comfortable in our own skin that makes a better and more confident person.
Ann Wintour once said in The September Issue that people are afraid of fashion and I can truly believe that. Even I don't wear some outfits because I'm afraid of what people may think about my outfit in school, but fashion is about moving forward and not looking back. When you wear an unusual outfit to school you just have to think of yourself highly and not give a damn about what other people think.
Fashion is does not have rules or limits. It all comes down to what you want to wear. Yes, the outfit may be a little strange but that is what fashion is about. It is about taking chances and learning what works for your/on body. You don't have to be skinny to look good. There are other designers that make clothes for larger women, for example, Lane Bryant. You also don't have to wear clothes that make you feel good. Being with your boyfriend, watching a good movie, or eating good food allows you to feel good and have fun also. You don't have to hate fashion to exclude you from having fun.
One other point I must make, which I think is important. In your picture you are wearing clothes, yes? Well every article of clothing that you are wearing was designed by someone in the fashion industry. If you really hate fashion so much, then I suggest you walk around naked every day for the rest of your life.
That is what I have to say about that



Yay I finally learned how to make my pictures really big!!!
Pictures from bellazon


Not just for you but for me to

Ummmm who doesn't want a necklace like that?
Pictures from bellazon

I'm really sick of the campaign ads on msn.com so here is what I have to say to politics!

You are all corrupt
On a happier note I passed my 1st math test of the semester


Fashion of Denver

Yesterday I went to visit Brandi, one of the girls I met at the Gino Velardi fashion show in November. She has her own little shop in Denver where she takes in local artists designs and tries to sell them to the public. After taking pictures and browsing through the clothes I was really surprised that the clothes were priced really well. I was going to buy something but on the way back up the hill my dad and I made a stop at Colorado Mills, where I got a military jean jacket and a charcoal jacket from Forever 21


I just died and went to heaven

The picture above are Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and are absolutely fabulous!
Picture from Obsessed With Shoes


In the closet

Fun and random shots taken yesterday after school. These pictures make me laugh because when I was little I use to sleep in my closet for some odd reason, probably because I was scared of the dark.
Shirt: Urban Outfitters, Shorts: DIY, Shoes: Lord and Taylor, Jewelry: finger armor, 3 usual rings, and self made elk horn necklace
Oh btw. I got a Gucci Skirt, and Moschino blazer yesterday!!!

DIY Shorts

I made these cool shorts last weekend. I took a pair of lighter jeans, and cut them to make shorts. Then I took another pairs of jeans of attached at a strip of the dark jeans to the bottom of the lighter jeans
With the back pockets I cut up a scarf, which I then sewed the scarf to the inside of the pocket


Scam Sites

The internet is crawling with fakes, knockoffs and counterfeit designer goods. The following sites are known to be bad, so make sure to check here before you buy.
Scam Sites


Cameron McNee

Shoot me? More like slap a wedding ring on my finger. This guy has the perfect body and is very good looking. Too bad none of the guys at my high school look like him!!
Pictures from Cameron McNee/photographer

My first thought on this picture (guy with mickey mouse ears) is I wanna be with you when I go to Disney World this March

The sack/hood/kissinghood

I have no words for this but Godly!! I want this!!! It kind of reminds me of a Chinese lantern
Pictures from bellazon
sorry the picture above is so blurry